Monday, March 30, 2009

My Moments in the sun?

Hey y'all.

Guess what?! I'm gonna be on the radio. And maybe T.V. too! I emailed 3 local radio stations in the area and 2 of the tv news stations last night. I told them that April is National Donate Life Month and that they should discuss it on the air.

Well today, when I checked my email, I had been emailed back by one of the news channels and one of the radio stations! The lady at the radio station said she wants to interview me and pre record it. Then play it during a live radio show that she does on Sundays. :) Then the girl from the news station said that she would love to do a story with me! So maybe that means I will be on t.v.!! :)

I'm super excited! :) But, a little nervous too. Now I have to make sure that I end up going shopping this week! B/c I have to look hot if I'm going to be on t.v!!!! :)

Don't worry y'all, I'll still love you when I'm FAMOUS! :) HAHAHAHHAHAHAA :) JUST JOSHING!!!!!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Happy 8 Months on the Transplant List to me!

What's up Bitches?

Well, today officially marks my 8th month on the transplant list. I'm not surprised by any means that I've had to wait this long. Especially considering that the first time I was listed, I waited over 3 years before ending up going inactive on the list. In the grand scheme of things 8 months is not long at all when you compare it to others who have been listed for a year or more. Or even YEARS, like I was the first time around. I'm just happy that I'm still as healthy as possible and stable for the most part.

< that was the positive, rational Meghann speaking, now it's the irrational, negative Meghann's turn.>

WHAT THE F**K!!!!!!!!!! I am sooooooo tired of waiting!!!!!!! Why haven't they called?!??!! Enough, already! I want my new lungs!!!!!!! I'm soooo tired of getting out of breath and being on oxygen!!!!!!! My nose has now got a permanent bump on the bridge from the freakin' bipap mask, I'm tired all the time and have no energy, AND I'm getting fatter by the day cuz the one thing that truly brings me joy is feeding my face!! WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE END??!!!

*injects herself with ativan and closes her eyes as she succumbs to her newfound calmness*

I know I should quit bitching. I'm not the only one in this f**ked up situation. My friend Bree has been waiting for 11 months today. (yep we share our list anniversary) So, I know she is pulling her hair out as well. I'm glad I'm not alone in this rocky boat! I hope we both get our calls soon. Here's to both of us getting THE call soon!

*takes a shot of Welches grape juice*

Peace and chicken grease, bitches!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Full Mental Break Down Averted.

Hello Everyone,

How is everyone feeling out there in blog land? Me...I'm okay I suppose. Except for the slight mental breakdown I just had a few moments ago.

I was doing my bi-weekly check of the transplant waiting list (Click here for waiting list data) b/c...well, just b/c I'm curious and nosy like that. Don't judge me! Anyways, like I was saying, I was doing my biweekly check of the list and I ran across some disturbing information.

For a while now, I've been the only person with B blood type listed at my transplant center(UNC). And also, the whole state. (Duke is the only other center though hehe) But, as I was passing the time by browsing the waiting list, I discovered *GASP* that there was another B blood type listed as well!!!! NOOOOOOOooooooooo!

The possible implications of this discovery? This could mean that I have been shoved back on the list!!! Someone could have ended my rightful reign at the top, as Number 1!!!

Upon further, sneaky, investigation, I was able to discover that this person is a male, aged between 50-65 years of age. Which, actually made me feel a bit better.

THEN, Bree with her infinite wisdom, pointed out that while he may also be of B bloodtype, like myself, it is rather rare for grown men to be 5' 1. (My height) So, therefore, the chances of us actually competing when it came to available organs was rare. Since, lungs of my size would be too small of his body and vice versa.

So, mad props to Bree from stopping me from going into a full blown mental breakdown!!! Thanks girl!

Time for dinner, bitches!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Top 10: Ways to Know You're on the Lung Transplant List

Hidey Ho Bitches.

I'm bored. I'm sitting around being lazy, waiting on the Duke game to start tonight. I was going to go shopping today, but it was ugly and rainy outside so I decided against it. So, I will go tomorrow or Saturday instead. My recent jump into the world of the obese has found me without any shorts that fit for this spring/summer. Therefore, unless I want to wear elastic waisted gym shorts all summer, I must buy new ones. But, I supposed it could wait one more day, or two.

Alas, here is some thoughts to stimulate your brain. Enjoy. :)

Top 10 Ways to Know You're on the Lung Transplant List:

1. Your idea of a mustache is an oxygen nasal cannula.

2. You consider chest physical therapy a form of relaxing massage.

3. You plan your social life around the presence of stairs/steps.

4. You have gotten into arguments over the difference between treadmill vs. regular walking. And don't even get you started on the 6 minute walk!

5. You taught yourself to blow "O's" with your nebulizer pipe!

6. The words "list" and "team" or any phrasing there of, have taken on whole new connotations.

7. You enjoy throwing around medical abbreviations such as: O2, CO2, FEV1, FVC, PFT, and L.A.C. and watching people's heads explode.

8. You've affectionately named your portable O2 tanks as Lil' Larry and Short Sharon or Mini Meg and your pager as Mr. Beepers.

9. You daydream of punching "sympathetic" asthmatics in the eye and screaming, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA!" (no offense)

10. Two Words: Handicapped Parking.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Pass the cheesey poofs please.

What's up My bitches?

First of all, I would like to start this post off by saying: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got 15 of the Sweet 16 correct on my NCAA tournament bracket!!! YEAH! I'm so psyched! I am shocked that I did that well so far, my first time filling out brackets! YEAH! I rock! :) My bracket is going well, Duke is doing great in the tourney, and all is right with the world!

I have been such a lazy ass lately. All I've been doing is sitting around playing Mafia Wars on Douchebook, chatting with my friends on IM, eating like a starved ethiopian kid on pot and sleeping. This is what has become of my life. If my transplant doesn't happen soon I'm going to go into the record books as the World's Fattest Oxygen Starved Loser. They will end up kicking me off the transplant list for being clinically obese and I'll end up on a Maury Povich episode entitled, "I was kicked off the transplant list for being too fat! Pass me the mashed potatos, bitches!"

*Sigh* What has my life become? Oh well. Shit happens. Or as my good friend Nate says, "Two Tears in a bucket, mother f*ck it!"

I've been feeling rather creative lately. Most of it has stemmed from annoyance and anger at certain people in my life. But, I can't decide if I want to draw something, or write something. I'm leaning towards the drawing, b/c If i write something it will probably just be a lot of hateful, bitter words with swear word after swear word. And although it would make me feel better, it won't really accomplish anything.

Tomorrow I have my second appointment with my new pyschologist. And, BOY, she is gonna get an earfull!

Well I think I may go attempt to clean my room a little. Pray for me. There is no teling what I may encounter back there. I hope I return with all my fingers and toes intact.

Peace and chicken grease!

Friday, March 20, 2009

NCAA Tourney - Only 3 wrong picks so far, not bad for a first timer!

Hey Bitches,

I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing pretty damn good. I'll tell you why. Last night I finished filling out my first ever NCAA tournament bracket. I took my time, looking at each time playing against each other, etc. So tonight, 16 teams played. I'm not sure if it was 16 games, or just 16 teams, meaning 8 games. Anyway...

Out of the 16...I only missed 3!!! :) I'm pretty proud of myself. I wonder how the rest of the tourney will go for me. :) Tonight Duke played and I ended up watching it at a friends house. And YES I wore my Duke hoody! :)

Anywho's...there's not much more going on around here lately. Mom is pretty sick with a bad case of Bronchitis. She sounds like she's trying to couch a lung up. :-( I'm a little worried about her, but she is on an antibiotic and she had a chest x-ray done either yesterday or today. She's just waiting to hear back from the doctor.

Well, if I think of anything else, I'll write it later. Toodles!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Duke 2009 ACC Champions - Suck on that Tardheels!

Hello there....

Ahhh....Victory is so sweet. Duke is finally, once again back on top where they belong. They've won the ACC Championship and all is right with the world. I'm glad I was able to stay awake long enough to see them beat Florida St. Up next: The NCAA tournament. Hopefully we will conquer there as well. *knock on wood*

Alas, now that the game is over, I shall retire to my bed for a nap of sorts. Hope everyone is having a great day.

Thank you, drive through please!!


Saturday, March 14, 2009

Mmmmm....turtle soup! Yummy! :) Suck it Maryland!

HI! :)

YAY!!!!! Duke beat Maryland and advanced to the ACC Championship! And even better...UNC LOST!! YES! Take that Hansbrough! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Suckerrrrrrrrrrr.

Aside from that, nothing else is really going on. I tossed and turned all night and hardly slept. B/c I forgot to get my night time pills filled yesterday. They help me sleep. So i laid down today during the game and tried to nap but I kept waking up every 5 minutes.

Well I'm going to go. Gonna watch a movie on Demand with my Mom. Tootles.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

The "Muffin Man" needs to be shot....

Hidey Ho Bitches,

I'm baaaaack. Today has sucked for the most part. I was supposed to go to the psychologist this afternoon, but never made it. Why you ask? I'll tell you why. It' all started when...

*cue random flashback sequence movie effects*

I woke up around 11:30 or so this morning. Mom had made some muffins (blueberry) so I quickly jumped up and made my way to the kitchen to feed my face. I didn't even pause long enough to relieve my bladder. Food was more important.

After eating two muffins, I was still hungry, so I figured that a third one wouldn't hurt. So, I downed a third muffin. And yet, STILL my greedy ass wanted yet ANOTHER muffin. I sat on the couch, staring at my empty plate for the longest time, contemplating whether or not to eat a fourth one. After waging an war between logic and my ever increasing gluttony, I opted to yield to my "inner fatass" and voraciously consumed the FOURTH muffin.

Needless to say, 30 minutes later, I was having the most hellacious stomach cramps. AGAIN. For the 2nd day in a row. My therapy appointment was for 3:00 pm. But when the time to get ready rolled around, I was in the bathroom and in too much hell to go.

Moving on, yesterday was support group. Mom and I went early and had dinner with Vik and her family at Bob Evans resturaunt. It was nice. Although I couldn't really eat much of my food due to my stomach being upset. It started hurting before we left for Chapel Hill and didn't stop hurting until after dinner. But, I took a new pic of Garran. I'll post it here.

Then we went to the hospital for the support group tour of the Cardiothoracic ICU and step down units that I will be staying in post transplant. It was pretty interesting. They took us into one of the empty private rooms in the ICU and the nurse talked to us about what to expect while we are there, etc. I was surprised how much smaller the ventilator machine looks now, from when I was on one back in 93.

I met some new people who are waiting for lungs also. One was a little girl who came from Duke hospital. Another was this older lady who was really nice. Her name is Geraldine. She also came from Duke. Duke completely screwed her over and sent her to UNC. I'm starting to realized that although I'm a huge Duke basketball fan...I am really blessed to be on UNC's transplant list, instead of Dukes. And I'd not want to be listed anywhere else!

Anyways, I'll holler at y'all later. Check out the pics!

Garran, looking healthy and happy after his transplant!

Leroy (my friend  Nate's dog) giving me kisses!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Email Notifications

Hey Everyone.

This is just a little mini post to let you all know that now it is officially possible to be notified via email when I have updated my blog. :) So if you want to be emailed when there are new posts, etc. Then please, feel free to fill out the email subscription form at the top right of the blog! Thanks everyone!

Peace and chicken grease!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Duke got ROBBED. F*ck you Hansbrough!!!! You big eyed bastard!

Hey Y'all. *sigh*

If you don't know already, my boys, Duke, lost their game against the evil Tardheels of UNC. So that sucks royally. Coach K should have put Paulus in. I don't know why he didn't play him at all, the whole game! What the hell is up with that? But nevertheless, I have not given up hope that Duke will seek revenge by stomping their asses in the ACC tournament. Hopefully bringing home the ACC title as well.

After the horribly shitty game, my brother and I went over to my friends Nate and Susie's house to eat dinner. We grilled out. Well I guess I shouldn't say WE...seeing as how all I did was sit on my ass and chat with Susie. Nate did the cooking. We had cheeseburgers and yum, they were very tasty. I have some pics from tonight I'll post in a minute to Facebook and I'll add them on here later as well.

Mom and I go to Chapel Hill on Wednesday for support group. We are going to go out to dinner first with Victoria and her fam. I'm very excited to see Garran for the first time since his transplant. :)

Well that's about it for now. Not much else to report. I'm off like a prom dress!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Do dreams come true?

I'm back again Bitches! :)

Wow, 2 days in a row! And to what do you owe this pleasure, you ask? Well, last night during a pretty heavy sleep episode, I had an odd dream that I wanted to share.

I dreamed that I had my transplant. But there was some things that they didn't do for my transplant that they normally do for everyone else's. For example, they didn't catheterize me. They also didn't put in an arterial line IV thing. I also noticed that I didn't have any chest tubes. All I had was my incision that was covered by bandages, and a few IV's. There was an IV in my foot also. But worse of all, they didn't give me the morphine pump thingy!

In the dream I remember feeling so miserable from he pain and the surgery. It was only like a day or two after surgery. The pain in my chest from the incision was horrendous and I kept complaining to the nurse about not having a pain pump thing. But she kept telling me that I didn't need one, even though I felt that I did. the Bitch.

I was in some much pain that it hurt just to turn over in the bed on my side. That was all I could do at first. And because I felt so bad, I was very ornery and bitchy to everyone around me. My Mom was there with me and my aunt Jane came to visit and then a bunch of my friends were there. But, it wasn't just one or two people at a time. Everyone would come and then just stay and not leave. So the room kept getting fuller and fuller and everyone was seated in like a sitting section, almost like bleachers, as if I was on display. I remember whining to my Mom, "I'm sooo miserable..!"

Then the scene changed a bit and I was still in the hospital but I was out wandering the halls alone. And I walked past the room next to mine and there were two guy patients in the room who had O.D.'d on crack. One of them was a friend of my brothers and the other one was this guy Nathan that I had a HUGE crush on in college. He was stoner/skateboarder and lived in the floor below mine. He got fucked up all the time and played PlayStation.

Anyways, then I was walking back down the hall again and this nurse (who obviously didn't work with lung transplant patients) congratulated me on my transplant and then slapped me on the chest instead of the back in congratulation. Of course I cried out in pain and groaned which she felt instantly sorry for, for being such a dumb ass and she apologized profusely. And me, not ever wanting to make people feel bad, I told her it was okay and not to worry about it.

Then I promptly went back to my room and told my Mom what had happened and I started coughing and coughed up a little blood. It totally freaked me out and I called the surgeon. He came in and I told him what had happened and about the blood and he told me it was normal and not to worry about it and that I would be okay.

I remember feeling in the dream that it felt sooo odd to be able to breath again. I mean my chest was very sore and felt tight from the pain and incision, but even through all that, I could tell I could breathe easier. And when I had been up walking, I wasn't wearing any O2 and I wasn't out of breath at all.

Anyway, that was my dream. Any thoughts?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Random Ramblings

Hello There Bitches.

It has been quite a while since I've blogged. Why you ask? B/c I haven't had shit to talk about, Gah!! Get off my nut sack, you crazies! Just kidding, where would I be without my loyal followers? All...2 of you. (I hope there are more of you out there, if so, make yourself known PLEASE!)

Anyways, life has been pretty damn boring for me around here lately. As usual. My relationship with the boyfriend is nonexistent now. But I'm okay with that. Too much drama for me to deal with at the moment. I got other shit on my mind. It's HARD waiting for a transplant. I mean, it might not LOOK that way since all I do is sit around all day and sometimes go out with friends. But, I mean, Gah! It is stressful. It sucks enough having to worry about myself and my own future, much less worry about his ass and his future and our future together. (IF there was to be one.) I thought love would be enough, but sadly, it's not.

For all you young hopeful kids out there reading this, (yeah right who are we kidding!) Don't believe what they say...Love most certainly does NOT conquor all! That's line of bullshit they tell young women to perpetuate the idea that every story has a happy ending. It's all bullshit. Listen to your gut.

So, I've cut the ties, once again. I need to move on. Be alone for a while until I find someone who is worth taking all the focus off my own issues once again.

I'm still eating like a starving Ethiopian. And everything else is pretty much the same health wise. So that is good, I guess. No news is good news, I guess.

Tonight is Taco night and I'm super excited b/c I love my Mom's tacos. Oh and it's also the Wild Card show on American Idol tonight. Oh man, my life blows. Stab me in the eye, please.