Friday, March 6, 2009

Do dreams come true?

I'm back again Bitches! :)

Wow, 2 days in a row! And to what do you owe this pleasure, you ask? Well, last night during a pretty heavy sleep episode, I had an odd dream that I wanted to share.

I dreamed that I had my transplant. But there was some things that they didn't do for my transplant that they normally do for everyone else's. For example, they didn't catheterize me. They also didn't put in an arterial line IV thing. I also noticed that I didn't have any chest tubes. All I had was my incision that was covered by bandages, and a few IV's. There was an IV in my foot also. But worse of all, they didn't give me the morphine pump thingy!

In the dream I remember feeling so miserable from he pain and the surgery. It was only like a day or two after surgery. The pain in my chest from the incision was horrendous and I kept complaining to the nurse about not having a pain pump thing. But she kept telling me that I didn't need one, even though I felt that I did. the Bitch.

I was in some much pain that it hurt just to turn over in the bed on my side. That was all I could do at first. And because I felt so bad, I was very ornery and bitchy to everyone around me. My Mom was there with me and my aunt Jane came to visit and then a bunch of my friends were there. But, it wasn't just one or two people at a time. Everyone would come and then just stay and not leave. So the room kept getting fuller and fuller and everyone was seated in like a sitting section, almost like bleachers, as if I was on display. I remember whining to my Mom, "I'm sooo miserable..!"

Then the scene changed a bit and I was still in the hospital but I was out wandering the halls alone. And I walked past the room next to mine and there were two guy patients in the room who had O.D.'d on crack. One of them was a friend of my brothers and the other one was this guy Nathan that I had a HUGE crush on in college. He was stoner/skateboarder and lived in the floor below mine. He got fucked up all the time and played PlayStation.

Anyways, then I was walking back down the hall again and this nurse (who obviously didn't work with lung transplant patients) congratulated me on my transplant and then slapped me on the chest instead of the back in congratulation. Of course I cried out in pain and groaned which she felt instantly sorry for, for being such a dumb ass and she apologized profusely. And me, not ever wanting to make people feel bad, I told her it was okay and not to worry about it.

Then I promptly went back to my room and told my Mom what had happened and I started coughing and coughed up a little blood. It totally freaked me out and I called the surgeon. He came in and I told him what had happened and about the blood and he told me it was normal and not to worry about it and that I would be okay.

I remember feeling in the dream that it felt sooo odd to be able to breath again. I mean my chest was very sore and felt tight from the pain and incision, but even through all that, I could tell I could breathe easier. And when I had been up walking, I wasn't wearing any O2 and I wasn't out of breath at all.

Anyway, that was my dream. Any thoughts?

1 comment:

G-Man's New Lungs said...

sounds like a scary dream.