Friday, January 9, 2009

116 lbs and still gaining.

Hey Y'all.

I'm back. I went to Chapel Hill yesterday for my return appointment with the sleep specialist. Two vials of blood and one EKG later, they STILL have yet to know what is causing these sneaky mysterious sleep episodes I keep having. So their solution? ANOTHER SLEEP STUDY!!!!!!!! Are they insane? PLUS...if that wasn't retarded enough, they told me to and I quote, "call a friend when I wake up from one of these sleep episodes, that has a blood sugar meter, and ask them to come over and check your blood sugar. " What the hell?

Needless to say, My mom was furious after hearing this. She says I should be glad she wasn't in there with me or she would have cussed the Dr. out. According to Mom, that was very unprofessional for a dr. to tell a patient. To depend on a friend driving over with their blood sugar meter. Why don't they supply me with one, if they want me to check it so bad? What bullshit!

Anywho's...what else did I learn yesterday you ask? Ohhh..only that I've become even MORE of a FAT HEFFA!!! I'm now officially at 116 lbs. Pretty soon I'm going to be walking around in a moo moo b/c that's all I'll be able to fit on over my fat belly. :-( And I'll have to start using my scooter again..but b/c I'm too fat to walk, not due to my breathing. The only good thing about gaining all this weight is that my ass is starting to fill out a little bit. I can actually feel it jiggling a bit when I walk. But that still isn't nearly enough to erase the horror of the growing tub of lard that is now known as my pony keg of a stomach. At least if I had been drinking I'd have an excuse for it's appearance. And at least I'd have been enjoying myself from the buzz that I'd get.

Okay okay...I can't lie...I have been enjoying myself immensely as I've been shoving all this food down my piehole. But now, as I look at this belly that slightly hangs over the top of my jeans, I'm questioning whether or not I have a problem. Can I stop eating so much? And if I can, do I really want to?

After all, there are only so many things that I can physically do that I find enjoyable: Sex, Eating and Sleeping. I'll let you guess which one of those 3 things that I'm not getting enough of. HAHAHA :) So maybe I should shut the hell up and quit complaining about my 'muffintop'. As long as I haven't acquired a F.U.P.A., it's all good. :)

Gotta go - Pizza is almost ready! lol (P.S. For the definition of a "muffintop" and "F.U.P.A.", look them up on

1 comment:

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