Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Top 10 Things I've learned from Bronchiectasis

 

Transplant Fairy, OH Transplant Fairy, where for art thou Fairy? Bring forth thy lungs and restore thy life! *sigh*

No lungs yet y'all! Do you think that maybe the Transplant Fairy is a selfish fairy? Perhaps she requires some sort of...gift in advance before she bestows on me this gift that I so humbly beg of her?

OR - oh no...what if she requires some sort of....sacrifice? Maybe she expects me to give up something in order to get my shiny new lungs?  *scratches head*

OH well, if y'all have any suggestions, let me know. B/c I'm shit out of ideas here. And getting more impatient by the day. When will it be MY TURN?! I've been patient. Or at least I think I have :-(  Is there some life lesson that I'm supposed to be learning through this waiting thing? B/c if so, I think I've learned enough lessons over the past 16 years of this selfish bastard of a disease.

Let's explore what I've learned over the past 16 years.

Bronchiectasis has taught me.....

1. Just because you FEEL like you can do a certain task, it doesn't necessarily mean you CAN. Slow your roll! Try, but don't be disappointed with your ultimate failure.

2. Nosebleeds aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be. In fact they can be rather interesting at times.

3. No you don't have a big booger on your face, they are staring at your oxygen.

4. Do not under any circumstances follow any urge you get to skip, run, or hop. (refer to #1) B/c you will just embarrass yourself. And possibly hurt yourself.

5. Keep your oxygen cord away from kittens. They WILL attack it. they can't help themselves. It's not pretty walking around with a oxygen cord full of electrical tape.

6. Just because your Lungs can, doesn't mean your LEGS can. Once again, SLOW YOUR ROLL! The treadmill will be there tomorrow and the next day, etc.

7. Yes, it IS possible to blow O's from your nebulizer pipe. Although it may take years to perfect.

8. Don't throw away your left over oxygen tank humidifier bottles or extra cords. Pot heads are very creative. (this is only for those who have friends/family who partake of nature's own medicine)

9. Don't overreact. Coughing up blood does NOT mean you have AIDS. No need to take a trip to the free clinic afterall.

10. If someone asks you if you have Asthma, for the love of God, just say YES.

(possibly more to come later)

2 comments:

Bree said...

Person: "I have asthma too!"

Me: "Fuck my life"

coachbethea said...

queen,
you just keep on fussin and cussin and being frustrated, and cryin. i know it seems that that is all you have left. as long as you keep on doing it.furthermore,you know this,that when you have finally gotten the prize you have longed for, your blogs are very sacred. especially to that young child who may have to go through what you have had to endure.
they will get that opportunity to read and say,"WOW!she had to go through alot", and realize they can go on too.
so cuss your "duke" ass off. if nothing else but to encourage another!!!!
love ya queen one of the bitches